


The Ocean

by kogadonis



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 01:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10526385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kogadonis/pseuds/kogadonis
Summary: It's been raining all morningSubaru decides it's time for a visit to the beachmaybe then he'll find a solution





	

Today is not a nice day for the beach Subaru thinks. It’s cloudy, the rain is drizzling down only slightly but still noticeable.The grey sky not showing any signs of sunshine any time soon. He walks up the sort of steep hill, pondering if this really is the only way. The smell of the salt from the ocean hitting his nose, overwhelming his senses. He isn’t wearing shoes nor socks, so the sand feels a little weird between his toes, he keeps walking. His thoughts empty, his body just lugging up this hill, with sandals in one hand and his eye’s lifeless. The small drops of rain hitting his skin and hair feels refreshing almost, almost snapping him out of this daze. Almost. 

 

He stops, he’s at the top now. He looks around, it’s a nice view, it would be even nicer if the sun was out but sadly it’s just a long clouded sky. He feels the wind hit him and the rain picking up. Why did I come up here again. He ponders. The ache in his chest growing and festering even more. He steps close to the edge and looks down. Water, crashing against the rocks beneath him. It’s a big drop he thinks. He stares, he can feel the dried tears under his eyes down his cheeks, that’s right, he was crying on the way here.  _ Why was that again _ ? He couldn’t remember. He keeps admiring the ocean, the way the rain droplets fall into the water, becoming one with the ocean. Wouldn’t that be nice.

 

The sounds of the wind and the water fill his ears. His thoughts coming back to him as the rain just keeps pouring down. He turns, his eyes scanning the rest of the beach, it’s empty, as it should be. Although, it feels lonely. Usually beaches should be crowded with families, all having fun, splashing in the water, building things like sandcastles, eating ice cream that ends up making their hands sticky...But there’s none of that today, just Subaru and the ocean. He turns back to the cliff, edging a little closer, dropping his sandals beside him. He takes in a breath and looks down, the sea looks welcoming, as if he were to fall into it, the sea would embrace him. I’m not wanted here anyways, he thinks to himself once again. It’s so lonely. His fists tighten.

 

He can feel his eyes sting, a whimper escaping his mouth as he bites his fist. _ You wouldn’t be able to feel alone anymore if you jumped, you  _ **_can_ ** _ escape this feeling _ his thoughts tell him. It does sound appealing, one more step and it would be over, this unbearable life, it would be over. He wouldn’t have to waste away anymore.Just. One. More. Step.Maybe his father is waiting for him in the ocean, Who knows. Whatever lies ahead, must be better than this, even if it’s nothing, it sounds way more bearable than whatever this is. The tears don’t stop though, why is it like this? Why did it come to this? Why is this an option? why couldn’t have he lived a happier life? He’s jealous, he’s mad, he’s full of regret and there’s nothing he can do. The ocean is waiting for him, his vision blurred and his nose running he takes another step forward. ”It’ll be fine” he quietly murmurs to himself. “It’ll be fine” he repeats, he keeps repeating those same words over, he can feel himself being pulled over the edge. _ You’ll be happier this way, no one will miss Akehoshi Subaru _ .He’s about to take another step when

 

_ Bark bark! _

 

Eyes widen, his head whips around as he stumbles backwards away from his demise. A familiar figure running towards him, barking loudly as it’s a sign to stop whatever he’s about to do. The dog whines and then barks as it jumps onto Subaru’s leg, biting at his basketball shorts tugging him away from the edge. Subaru can only follow, he kneels beside his companion, his one true and only friend. The dog whimpers again and begins to lick his face, trying to stop the overflow of tears that the boy can’t stop producing. The only thing Subaru can do is cuddle into Daikichi, his face hidden in his fur gasping for air as he wails, his whole body shaking and only babbles and sobs escaping him as his companion only looks confused, making attempts at cleaning his owner's face. 

 

The rain is pouring down now “I’m sorry for trying to kill myself” he painfull says, his tears dripping onto the dog’s fur. “I’m sorry for trying to kill myself, I’m sorry” he repeats. Why is he apologizing, how can a dog have such an impact on him.The dog doesn’t even understand him. Even if it’s just to comfort him, but Subaru can only think it was a sign, a sign that maybe someone wants him here, even if it is his pet dog, it’s someone, it’s something. He sits in the sand, crying with what little strength he has left. He was going to kill himself.Take his own life. Maybe it’s true, that nobody would miss him, but at least Dakichi would, after all he came out here and stopped Subaru from continuing at the last second. 

  
It means something..It has too. 

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't well written, in fact this is sort of a vent fic hfagdsh  
> so take it how it is, im not that good of a writer i just wanted someway to express my grief


End file.
